If your parents won't let you have pets, tying a string to a beetle is a great alternative. If you can get one for each finger you will have your own personal flying machine.
weird video by stryfeIf you're dirty enough to not use it on your teeth, learning how to pick locks is a great alternative for your tooth brush.
weird video by stryfeThe budget for cops are so low they have to use their own vocal chords to play a song on the bagpipes.
funny video by stryfe